Petey's Pipeline E-zine

Issue #26

March 6, 2006

Contents

Business First CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU JUST WON . . .
Random Ramblings & Miscellaneous Musings Addiction Affliction – Part I
Write Thinking Improve Your Spelling (Rule #4)

Business First (Editorial)

CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU JUST WON GRAND PRIZE FOR CHUMP OF THE DAY!!!!

Believe me, if I sent, en masse, e-mail (in other words, spam) containing the above caption in the subject line, some imbecile would open it. In fact, I can state, with a high degree of certainty, that quite a few imbeciles would open it.

How do I know this? How else can you explain spammers staying in business? If it weren't profitable to send spam, no one would send it. Well, no one except someone who enjoys annoying other people, that is. Actually, I can understand how some people might consider spamming to be a worthwhile hobby.

The dynamics of spam are really quite simple. Some moron sends spam e-mail to a large list of suck . . . er, prospects. From among those prospects, a surprisingly large group, consisting of imbeciles and idiots, unfailingly open and read unsolicited commercial e-mail. From among these, however, only the idiots—the truly gullible—succumb to the temptation to throw their money at whatever dubious offer happens to catch their fancy.

I don't get it. Are these people so lonely—so starved for attention—they harbor a compulsive need to open and read each piece of spam e-mail that finds its way into their "in" box? Does a daily ration of spam make them feel important? Does it make them feel loved? Are their lives truly enriched by it? Have they nothing else to spend their time and hard-earned money on?

What follows are random samplings (shown in boldface) of spam e-mail that cluttered my various "in" boxes during this past week. Because I didn't open or read any of this e-mail, my comments regarding each are based on "gut feelings" and logical assumptions.

Homeowner, you have been prequalified for a decreased&nbsp...

First of all, what makes you think I own this dump? Furthermore, when I want my &nbsp decreased, I'll shop around for local talent to do the job. Click! This one's gone.

Notice: Loww mortagee ratee approved

Garsh! To munts ugo I cutent evun spel mortagee ratee un now I are approved. Click! This one heads back into the ether.

Great loww ratess

What is this, a talented female rat with short legs? Click! You're outta here.

Pre-approved Application #TQVVEBRJ10635

Damn! I almost fell for this one. Must've been that clever, official-looking application number, eh? Not! Click! Another one bites the dust.

I AM WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT REPLY

I assure you my reply is not urgent. It's safe to say that the more urgent something is for you, the less likely it is to be urgent for me, unless it pertains exclusively to my writing, editing or proofreading services, for which I make exceptions. But, hey, as long as you're waiting, you might as well hold your breath. Click! And another Nigerian nothing-for-something scam goes missing in action.

Your mortagee approval

I didn't order no mortagee approval, I don't want no mortagee approval, I don't need no mortagee approval. Click! See ya later, aggravator.

Concerning Your February Account Details

Aside from bank, Web hosting and ISP, I have no accounts. These days, I'm strictly a cash-and-carry kind of guy. Since this e-mail didn't bear the signature return address of any account, it's safe to assume this e-mail is from someone bent on identity theft. Click! More spam veers back into cyber space, hopefully never to be seen again.

VERY CONFIDENTIAL ( BARR KOFI AFIS )

Rest assured that I made keeping the contents of this e-mail confidential a top priority. I deleted it, unopened, because it has all the earmarks of a Nigerian scam. Click! Adios, amigo.

MY SECOND MAIL TO YOU, PLEASE REPLY!!

Moron! You didn't send a first e-mail to me. Or, if you did, I deleted it. Why would I even bother to open this one, let alone reply to it? Click! Sayonara, baby. You're a Nigerian scam, and you won't be missed.

Onlne Candian Parmacy

Obviously, Candia has morons, too. Click! Bon voyage.

In Reference to Account Details

Yeah, right! Here's someone, who has no account details, on a phishing expedition hoping to get some. You know, things like social security numbers, account numbers, access codes, passwords, and other identifying information. Don't fall for this one. Click! See how easy it is to make them go away?

And my all-time favorite . . ..

CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU JUST WON THE LOTTERY!!!!

Rats! Now you tell me. I threw away that ticket four-and-a-half years ago. It was a loser, just like all the tickets that came before it. Listen up! If you didn't enter the lottery, you didn't win the lottery. If you win the lottery, it's up to you to notify the lottery commission. It sure as hell won't notify you. Of Nigerian origins or not, this one is still a scam. Click! Zap! Gone!

Laws alone will not end the spam pandemic. Only when those who receive spam stop responding to it will those who send spam find that spamming is an activity not worth pursuing. Sure, it's easy to blame the spammers for all that junk e-mail, but the people who buy into it are the real culprits.

Random Ramblings & Miscellaneous Musings

Addiction Affliction – Part I
by Phil Hanson

We Americans are habitual addicts. Indoctrinated into consumerism at an early age, most of us base every aspect of our lives on conspicuous consumption. Even when we work at producing something, it's all about being able to consume more. We're so enamored of self-indulgence that we've elevated addiction, per se, to a lifestyle.

Appetite, pleasure, well being, convenience and technology are the main ingredients of most addictions. Add varying amounts of greed, selfishness, indolence and flawed percepts and you have a winning formula for an addiction that's almost impossible to break.

In bygone eras, people worked hard, albeit at a slower pace, to grow, process, preserve and prepare their own food. The labors given over to such activities were part of making a living. Today, people work hard to earn money to buy inferior pre-packaged food that requires only a minimum of preparation. We no longer have the time or energy needed to make a home-cooked meal from scratch.

However, the object of the labor is the same. One must work in order to eat. The difference is that now our labor is co-opted by third parties to the betterment of third-party interests. In effect, we became the unwitting servants of a pervasive corporatocracy.

The same reasoning, the same logic, the same explanations can be applied to all of life's necessities. Houses, clothing, labor saving appliances—whatever it is we need—are all obtained in the same way. We exchange our labor for money, then we exchange our money for that which we need or want.

Instead of working for a year or two to build a home out of materials that can be had at low cost or for free, we'll buy a pre-existing home and work for thirty years to pay off the mortgage. Credit becomes essential to our lives, and soon we're addicted to it.

Because the price of goods always rises faster than wages, we find ourselves in a classic dilemma. We work harder to increase our productivity, to make ourselves a more valuable commodity in the marketplace so we can earn more money. Often, we work more hours, further limiting the time and energy we have available to pursue personal goals. To free up more time and conserve more of our energy, we buy yet another labor saving device (on credit, of course), further increasing our indebtedness.

As the cost of living increases, we find ourselves lagging farther behind. At some point we discover that our life has become a racing, spinning, not so merry merry-go-round, and that the brass ring is always just beyond our reach. Each revolution of this vicious, whirling circle digs the rut a little deeper. Soon, the struggle to get ahead becomes a struggle to get caught up.

And so we become addicted to our job, addicted to the daily routine that having a job demands, addicted to the lifestyle we develop because of our job, addicted to our ability to accumulate possessions. It's not just the job we're addicted to; every aspect of our job, everything that influences our job and everything that's influenced by it becomes a part of our addiction because it's a package deal.

Our job title, then, becomes an integral part of our identity. Whether doctor, lawyer, beggar, steelworker or stay-at-home mom, we develop a behavior pattern specific to our identity, and we channel our thoughts in ways that reinforce and protect our sense of self.

In essence, the identity we create for ourselves becomes an addiction.

(to be continued)

Copyright © 2006 by Phil Hanson
All rights reserved.

Write Thinking

Improve Your Spelling (Rule #4)

In words that end with a single consonant and are two or more syllables long, double the last consonant when adding a suffix that begins with a vowel if the word is accented on the last syllable and the last consonant is preceded by a single vowel.

Don't double the last consonant if the last syllable isn't accented.

The rule doesn't apply if the accent shifts to the first syllable when the suffix is added (defer, deference), if the last consonant is preceded by two vowels (appeal, appealing), or if the word ends with two consonants (convert, convertible).

Disclaimer

The articles appearing in Petey's Pipeline E-zine are based on information believed to be true at the time of publication. Neither Perfecttext.com, Petey's Pipeline E-zine nor their publisher assume any liability or responsibility as to the accuracy or efficacy of any information, products or services that are submitted, advertised or rendered by contributors to Petey's Pipeline E-zine. While we make every effort to screen out scam artists and bogus offers, you should still do your homework. Caveat emptor!

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